Everything's Mental

There is no doubt that CrossFit will test you and find out where you are weakest. It does not matter, you will be tested both mentally and physically. Here lately all my tests have been mental. I am by no means old. I am only 36 - 37 in a couple months, but for some reason I am feeling old. Most of it is my mentality and expectations I set for myself. I want to be the best at everything I do, no matter what.

I guess that is what I really like about CrossFit. No matter what I do I can't ever defeat it. Each workout seems to be just as hard as the last one. Mostly because the stronger and better you get, the more you push yourself, thus making it just as hard as the last time. It also does not help to try and keep up with other athletes that are 10 - 20 years younger than you are.

I know I can keep up with them and I am doing it. They are only beating me by a minute or two depending on the workout. But let me tell you what that is a LONG minute. The thoughts that keep going through my head are ones of doubt and why bother. We start out even and they just slowly pull away and finish just ahead of me. No matter what I do I can't catch them. I try to tell myself that it's because my upper body is not as strong as theirs, which may be true. However it's the negative thoughts that really keep me out of it.

If only for a brief second that negative thought puts me behind and keeps me there. Then I am not just competing with the time or the weights or the other people, but against myself and the negative thoughts. That is the toughest battle of all. But those of you that know me, know I won't give up - no matter what! Some would say that's my downfall but I have to say it's the one reason I am who I am and where I am today. I just don't quit until I master it and am in the front.

In life this may be fine, but in this world of CrossFit it just leads to more and more of the same struggle. The amazing part is that even in the midst of this seemingly endless struggle of the mind I am making huge improvements like never before. My conditioning is the best it's ever been and I am getting stronger and stronger with each week. I am doing things that I looked at a year ago and said no way. Like doing a handstand on an Indo Board. Now that's fun.

The other thing that CrossFit does is pull you out of your comfort zone and makes you confront your weak areas. No one likes to do that, but it is so important that we all do that so that we can grow and become better people. It's so much fun learning new things and looking silly from time to time. Again, I love to be in control and definitely don't like to be silly. However between CrossFit and my daughter, they are helping me with that.

The mental struggle and the workout tonight was this:

500m Row
Push press x 21 reps (115lbs)
500m Row
Push press x 18 reps
500m Row
Push press x 15 reps
500m Row
Push press x 12 reps

I finished with a time of 20.38.

Not bad but when you compare it to the people I am competing against it is SLOW.
Tim finished in 14 minutes. Mason and Mark in 18 minutes.
Like I said one or two minutes is not that long a time, but when you are in the middle of all that, it lasts FOREVER.

I did finish as Rx'd, and I know I will be better for it now that it is all over. I just know I need to work on the mental side of things just as much as the physical.
It's good to be pushed and challenged. When was the last time you were taken outside of your comfort zone and challenged?? I encourage you to try it at least once a week.